LIZZY:

Alright. Testing… good.

This is Lisbet Dowell, Head Evil Librarian at the Uncanny Public Library, taking notes for next week's schedule.

Why am I doing this?

…

That is a very good question.

I mean, Zelda was telling me earlier it might help to finally use some of the empty cassettes in storage, and I want some kind of record of this since those high schoolers keep hacking the website to change it to the “Uncanny Pubic Library” so… good of an excuse as ever, I guess? Yeah. Right.

[LIZZY SIGHS]

Right. So, Monday…

In the morning, we’ve got…

Oh, neat. A course on sign language in Klingon. Huh… Vikki would’ve liked that. They always were joining random clubs and going to things like that. Don’t think they knew what free time was… which I’m guessing was the point.

At 1:00 PM, in meeting room 3, we’ve got an Internet Safety seminar, hosted by Sonja Mcmillan. After that, at 2:00, is a seminar… Cookies and Committing Cybercrime. That’s fun!

Some kid from the Uncanny Middle school wants to host a meeting for their “Super Cool and Fun Pyrokinetic Hangout: Let’s Have A Fun Time With Flamethrowers”.

With… they just put their name as “me”.

You know, I probably shouldn’t approve that for the schedule.

On the other hand, I have not slept in 36 hours, and this sounds entertaining. I’ll just tell Zelda to keep an eye on them. Don’t want to burn the books.

…Speaking of which, our section on Spontaneous Combustion Disorders… spontaneously combusted. So we need to replace those soon. Or not.

Onto Tuesday! The Uncanny Soup Kitchen is setting up in Meeting Room 2 to provide snacks to anyone who needs a quick free meal! It says here that… ooh, (vaguely disgusted, sarcastic) Primordial Soup!

My… favourite. I say, sarcastically.

You know what I want right now? I wanna get in my car, stop by the ramen place just outside the deja vu zone, and drive home to eat. Maybe finish that novel and make some tea… you know, I’ve been on a big fantasy kick lately. Have you ever read the Emerald Cycle? (rambly, passionate)

I just got through the part in book 2 where Lauren drinks the orchid tears, and finally gets pulled into the Underworld with Cassidy, and then we get their verse monologues mixed together and the writing styles just blend so well. Like, they’re finishing each other’s thoughts, and the whole way that Cassidy talks, y’know, Shadespeak and all, ties into Lauren’s….

Okay. I am rambling. I am… definitely rambling.

(Sigh)

Back to work.

Next up, Wednesday is Banned Book day. We’re holding a gathering celebrating all the members of the Book family, and their war crimes that lead to their banishment from the city of Biringan.

On top of that, we’ve got… Teen Tabletop Game group from 3-6. Bring your own tables. The STEAM Discovery group - oh, that’s interesting. Reminder too, that this stands for Science, Technology, Engineering, Art, and Maths.

Not “Service Tarantula Education and Adoption Meeting”, which was last week. Which, by the way - whoever left their tarantula behind by accident, he is still here. Zelda, my assistant, has been keeping track of him, since I won’t touch him.

He is big and hairy.

I don’t like him.

I’m thinking of asking Vikki or Ellie to like, adopt him or something. Probably Vikki.

… if they’ll talk to me.

The Neighbourhood Watch is meeting in the Records room upstairs at 8:00 PM on Wednesday night, where they’ll be discussing recently sighted threats to the community, the new Omega 365 silver wristwatch, and praising the Clockwork Gods. In the email… Jericho Simes says to remind Meghan Bright that it’s her turn to bring chips. Perfect.

Thursday, we’ve got Kids Storytime! Zelda will be hosting that, if I’m correct. Because apparently, she’s better with kids than I am… [ANNOYED] whatever that’s supposed to mean. They will be reading “If you give a God an Animal Sacrifice”

At 3:30, we’re doing Teens Arts and Crafts. They’ll be making masks inspired by those worn in the Bloody Bloody fae wars. Sounds fun!

Let’s see… Reading Buddies at 1:30…. A THEODORE talk from some guy on Friday about … author talk from Faraji…. Oh god, he was in my library sciences course in college. I’ll just… hide in the archives for those hours.

Moving on-

ZELDA: Hey, Lizbet, question for you?

LIZZY: Oh, Holy Clocksmiths, I- I did not see you there. Sorry– Miss Kumar.

ZELDA: Zelda’s fine, seriously.

LIZZY: Right! Zelda. I. This is my first time ever being a boss, I don’t know if that shows. It… probably shows.

ZELDA: It shows.

LIZZY: Dammit!

ZELDA: It’s fine. I was just gonna head out soon, I have night classes at Uni, and there’s this really interesting sounding lecture on incorporating Manifestation Work to enhance psychic readings.

LIZZY: That sure sounds… um…

ZELDA: Right, sorry. You’re not into the witchy stuff, are you?

LIZZY: I mean, my Grandpa is part Seraphim, so… kinda? Didn’t grow up on it, though. He never wanted me to get into that culture. Too much Hierarchy politics. Anyways, I get around better with a shotgun and a poetry book than wings and hymns.

ZELDA: Ah. Makes sense. I mean, for me it wasn’t really a family thing for me. More… I had a vision when I was 5, and suddenly, my violin lessons, karate and maths tutoring were added to Clairvoyant Training.

LIZZY: I mean… why not go into that, then? There’s good money in there, if you play it right.

Z, AMUSED: Oh, please. I’m not gifted enough to become a professional, and I refuse to join the whole song-and-dance of freelance fortune telling.

LIZZY: Makes sense.

ZELDA: Oh. Hey buddy. I see you got the tape recorder working?

LIZZY: Yes, I did.

ZELDA: Put it by my desk once you're done, I’ll look over it and try to get it all typed up to put out Sunday.

LIZZY: I… I’ll just leave it here, actually. Does that work?

ZELDA: I guess, but I don’t see why… oh. Spider?

LIZZY: Spider.

ZELDA: Lucien is a god amongst men. Eats his grasshoppers with care, and is very polite about cage cleaning time. Doesn’t even scamper too much.

L, drily: I could’ve lived without knowing that he scampers outside his cage at all.

Z, sheepish: Right- sorry. See you tomorrow, then?

LIZZY: Yeah, of course.

ZELDA: Oh- also, did you hear the latest Radio Other broadcast?

LIZZY: There was another one? Oh- shit. Usually Vikki sends me an email before they broadcast, or at least leaves a badly frosted cake outside my door with a reminder written on the top in ketchup. What was it about?

ZELDA: Uh, I actually am not really sure. I think they might have (unsure)… broken into the police station?

LIZZY: They- I- What?

ZELDA: Yeah, beats me too. Anyways, sorry to leave you so soon, but I really-

LIZZY: Got it, got it. Just-

[SIGH] Drive safe.

ZELDA: Thanks. Bye!

[SHE WALKS AWAY]

LIZZY: Fuck…

Oh Vikki. What’d you get yourself into this time?

I wish you wouldn’t do this. Especially after Freshman year… God… you make it so hard to be in love with you, you know?

(Sighs again)

I’ll go call George.

[TAPE CLICKS OFF]