We'll Be Having A Fun Time- Transcript

RADIO OTHER

EPISODE TWENTY: WE'LL BE HAVING A FUN TIME

Writer, Editor, and Director: Finley Cole

Voices: Finley Cole (Vikki Other/Officer Somerset), Spencer Dougherty (Ellie Richards), Vera Dawn (Libset "Lizzy" Dowell), Dominic Alicea (George Rand), Fitz Jutro (Mysterious Voice)



VIKKI: Talk? I mean- sure! W-what about? Are you-

LIZZY: Just follow me.

VIKKI: Oh! Right.

[WALKING]

LIZZY: Right through here.

VIKKI: Okay-

Uh, hello? Ellie? George? Why are you two here? Lizzy- what’s-

LIZZY: Look, we’re sorry about this but-

GEORGE : This is an intervention.

VIKKI: An… intervention? Intervening with what?

GEORGE : You’ll find out in a second. Ellie? Knock them out.

[THERE’S A THUD AS VIKKI IS DECKED IN THE FACE BY A 4’11 CONSPIRACY THEORIST]

[CLICK]

[CLICK]

LIZZY: How much longer should we wait for them to wake up? What if we hurt them? Ellie, did you make sure to leave their bindings loose enough so-

ELLIE: I did my best, shut up!

LIZZY: Ellie, this is an intervention, not a punishment. They need our support, and if you’re just going to-

V, groggy: Tied up in a room with my friends? Guys, it’s been years since you’ve pulled out all the stops and brought in the sentient carnivorous balloon animals for my birthdays-

GEORGE : What? I- No, that’s not what- when did we get carnivorous balloon…

ELLIE: Ignore them. They’re using manipulation tactics to distract you from the truth. From the light. It’s classic government spy skills.

VIKKI: I’m not a government spy.

ELLIE: Vikki, I don’t believe a fucking word you say.

VIKKI: What is this even about

LIZZY: This… is about your radio show.

VIKKI: My… show? [DEFENSIVE] What’s wrong with my show? Look, I know I’ve made some mistakes recently, but you guys don’t even listen to it anymore. I can’t see where I’m causing problems.

LIZZY: where are you causing a problem? [VAGUELY INSANE] where are you NOT causing a problem? I check in on you once, and find out you’ve been going through the town, destroying your relationships and our reputations, and sticking your head into all the places we thought you learned were better left alone!

VIKKI: And how is that bad?! Shouldn’t we be concerned about all the secrets? Don’t you want to try and find out what's really going on? Isn’t that better than sticking our heads in the sand?

LIZZY, voice breaking, pleadinGEORGE : I tried to do that, Vikki. We all tried. And it nearly got you killed. I thought- I thought after Freshman year you’d learn to not put yourself into places you aren’t wanted. Haven’t you been hurt by that enough? Haven’t we been hurt by that enough? Haven’t we been hurt by you enough?

VIKKI: I’m being safe this time.

LIZZY: Vikki, I listened to your show. You broke into a government building.

VIKKI: And I’m fine.

LIZZY: Are you, though? Maybe you aren’t dead. But what about your face? You’ve got half a black eye and your nose is bruised. Vikki, I have never met someone who’s ready to break into government records who I would call “Fine”. You need help.

VIKKI: Oh shut up! As if we haven’t all done it!

LIZZY, exasperated: Literally no one else in this room has broken into a government building.

ELLIE: Actually–

LIZZY, snapping : Ellie, shut up.

VIKKI: No, I wanna hear what she has to say!

GEORGE, tired: Vikki, we got tape for your mouth, and I will put it on.

LIZZY: Look, we’ve talked this through, and we’ve come to a conclusion. Until you get your act together, you’re not allowed to do any more of… this.

VIKKI: You’re taking away my research? That’s- That’s barbaric! I-

GEORGE : No, that’s not- Lizzy, just tell them.

LIZZY: I’m not doing it.

GEORGE : Don’t tell me you’re scared of hurting their-

ELLIE: Oh, both of you shut it. Vikki, we’re taking away your Otherphone.

VIKKI, screaming. It’s the angriest, the most broken we’ve ever seen them: WHAT?!

[PAUSE]

VIKKI: No. Nonono. Please. Please. I’ll do anything- just- don’t take away that. It’s my one- my one connection- I-

[VIKKI SOBS]

VIKKI: But I was so close! I had it almost all figured out! If you just gave me a little longer, a little more time- I could do it! Then I’d be done, and we could go back to normal or at least something… I just… I could have my friends back

[THEY CONTINUE TO SOB]

VIKKI: Please. Please. Just… please.

LIZZY, worried: George, maybe we should-

GEORGE : No. We gave them plenty of chances, Liz. They’ve proved they can’t be trusted.

GEORGE : We’re hiding this somewhere safe. Don’t come looking for it, or we’ll make sure it gets put somewhere no one will find it.

VIKKI, SOBBING: No.

GEORGE : Vikki, you had your chance.

VIKKI: Please. What did I ever even do to you?

ELLIE: What did you do to us? Oh, that’s your question?

VIKKI: Yes! I don’t know what I did to make you hate me so-

ELLIE, near tears, shouting : YOU GAVE ME A FUCKING BRAIN TUMOUR!

[SILENCE]

VIKKI: I’m sorr-

ELLIE: Sorry? [SARCASTIC] Oh, you’re sorry? Don’t you dare say you’re sorry. You don’t get to be sorry. I am sick of sorry, sick of the world tricking me and making me not trust myself, so, so, SO fucking sick of YOU, Vikki Other. I don’t even-

LIZZY, placatingly: Ellie.

ELLIE, snapping: Don’t touch me.

GEORGE : Vikki. I think it’s time for you to leave.

VIKKI: I can’t…

GEORGE : Hold on.

[FOOTSTEPS, SOUND OF CUTTING THROUGH ROPE]

GEORGE, cont: This is why I keep a pocket knife on me.

ELLIE: I keep five.

LIZZY: Isn’t that overkill?

ELLIE: Absolutely not. If I ever end up in a knife throwing contest then I have 5 chances, and if I can’t get 1 hit out of 5 throws, then the other person deserves their win.

LIZZY, a bit disturbed: Where do you even keep them?

ELLIE: That’s classified.

VIKKI: I guess I’ll be going, then?

[SILENCE]

ELLIE: Yeah. I think that’s for the best. I hope I never see your fucking face again, Vikki Other.

GEORGE : Not the terms I would’ve used but… yeah. Please don’t call me.

LIZZY: I…

[DEEP BREATH]

LIZZY: Bye Vikki.

Please stay safe.

[THE DOOR SHUTS]

[THE SOUND CUTS OUT]

[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS ON]

[VIKKI SNIFFS]

VIKKI: I…

I’m back.

I found a box of old tapes in my house… I can…

I can use these to record myself.

Until if - when I get my Otherphone back, I can use these to log the meantime. They might be able to take away my [THEIR VOICE CRACKS] Otherphone… but I’m not going to stop investigating.

I was almost there. I was… almost there.

So. I know this.

There is another timeline connected to this one. On that timeline, there is a society called America - connected to us. But… I know about the Multiverse. I mean, that’s part of how I started doing my whole “from my timeline to yours” line. So why does all this seem so… different? It feels so… personal. Is it because it’s so close to my town? But half of it isn’t even near Uncanny Valley.

Is it because of the connections between our governments? I mean, obviously they know about our world. That’s been our biggest lead. Leila proved that much to us. Leila. That’s one of our biggest leads. Leila knew the most about it… and the others, too…

How do people even get through the timeline? Let’s think-

Marilyn Monroe- John F Kennedy Jr mentioned her in that recording I got. And the letter- he wrote it to someone named “M”. That could be her. So that’s one connection. She’s from Camelot, far away from here. But still connected…

[SHUFFLING, POKING SOUNDS AS VIKKI REARRANGES THE STRINGBOARD]

And the Blood Drive… plus… the Red man cloaked in shadows with a white rat on his shoulder, that I’ve been seeing in my dreams… the green cracks… the red cracks… the clocks, too…

Clocks, like timelines? Maybe that’s it?

Think, think, think. C’mon. You’re Vikki freakin Other.

What do all of these people have in common? I mean, we’ve got people who just start existing one day, without any report of being born. Seemingly human, so not some sort of cryptid related summoning. Some of them in accidents, or things like that… sometimes losing memories or even…

But how does that connect to our world?! I need to get a bigger picture… I need to see things as…

[VIKKI TAKES A SHARP BREATH]

Unless….

Unless the picture is a mirror.

Wait…

No.

No no no.

[TREMBLING]

Oh god- that can’t- but it- but why- how could- good lord- i can’t-

I’m not from this timeline, am I?

What’s happening?

[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS OFF]

[CLICK]

[RUSTLING]

GEORGE : So, you’re sure Vikki hasn’t figured it out?

ELLIE: No- trust me. I would definitely know. That person overshares everything. I don’t think they know what a filter is.

GEORGE : Good. Either way, though… I need you to keep checking up on them, Ellie. Just in case.

ELLIE: No fucking way. Not after the… not after what I found out.

GEORGE : Well, someone has to.

LIZZY: George, we’re lucky if we ever get them to talk to us after this.

GEORGE : I doubt it, Vikki recovers pretty easily. They put a dramatic face on, but I… really doubt they care that much.

LIZZY: You don’t know Vikki.

GEORGE : You say that like you know them any better.

LIZZY: I do know Vikki better.

ELLIE, annoyed: No, you like them better. There’s a difference, Lizzy.

LIZZY, equally annoyed: Well, maybe it’s both!

GEORGE : Guys. Stop it. We’re arguing like we’re 14 again.

[THIS SOBERS THEM]

ELLIE, speculative: … we never really talked about that night.

LIZZY, cautious: Are you talking about what happened Freshman-

ELLIE, annoyed: Yes, I am talking about what happened Freshman year.

[PAUSE]

GEORGE : I thought we’d all moved on.

ELLIE: Well, obviously Vikki didn’t.

LIZZY: We didn’t exactly give them a chance to. You guys cut them off.

GEORGE : Lizzy, we’ve talked about this, we were all trying our best-

LIZZY: No. No, you really weren’t. Remember when their spiders died?

GEORGE : You don’t expect us to actually feel bad about not caring enough about spiders- They’re spiders, for the Clockwork’s sake.

LIZZY: Yeah, and they meant a lot to Vikki. They were their only family.

ELLIE: I don’t care. It’s not my problem. Vikki was never my problem. We never owed them anything.

GEORGE : Then why’d you bring it up?

ELLIE: Because I’m not over it! Because you never let us have a proper conversation about it!

LIZZY: You wanna talk about it? Fine. Let’s talk about it.

ELLIE: Thank you.

GEORGE : Lizzy, are you sure this is a good idea? Given your job and all-

LIZZY, tired: It’s nothing Vikki hasn’t already probably told the whole town. I don’t care, at this point. I just don’t care.

GEORGE :... Alright then.

GEORGE : Who wants to go first?

ELLIE: I will.

[ELLIE SIGHS]

ELLIE: I remember it was about a month after school started. We had what they called a job investigation day. We got to fill out forms and go to places to see what it was like. That’s how I first met the producers of the Skeptic Screen. It was an amazing day- A dream come true.

George went to the police station, and Lizzy… she went to the library.

When we came back to school, Lizzy was telling us that she’d found something big. She said she’d broken into the filing cabinet, and found papers about a cult that was meeting in the basement. Now, this was really spooky at the time, and we all got… a bit hung up on it. Obsessed, you could say.

LIZZY: I’d been left behind from the group, and noticed one of the cabinets had been left open. And well… I was curious. I wanted to see what kinds of work they were doing. It was such a dangerous, fascinating job at the time. Of course, now I know it’s mostly paperwork… but that’s besides the point.

It was an itinerary for a list of meetings down in the basement. I checked the floor plans. The library doesn’t have a basement. The meetings all had the group name blacked out, and notes scribbled in the margins, and… well, I made the connections.

GEORGE : So… the basement cult was real?

ELLIE: Yeah. You didn’t know that?

GEORGE : I always thought it was just one of Vikki’s…. Vikki-isms.

LIZZY, a bit agitated: Well, it wasn’t.

GEORGE : Right….

ELLIE: I want to say Vikki was the one who’d made the plan? But honestly, knowing how I was back then, it could have been me. Either way, you know how it went.

GEORGE, exasperated: Our first felony. Breaking and Entering.

LIZZY: How you became a cop never fails to confuse me.

GEORGE : The cops saved my best friend.

LIZZY: Fair.

ELLIE, bitter: I still wouldn’t be caught dead letting myself be turned into a government sheep. [SARCASTIC] But to each their own.

ELLIE, continued: I remember that night. We broke in. I don’t know how I got past my Moms. It was… it was cold.

I walked in, and Vikki took the lead, shouting into the darkness like it was a party they had just showed up to. At the time, I think I was jealous of that. They treated life like a party, were just so confident. Now obviously, I know it was just narcissistic bullshit.

We walked around, flashlights around our necks, poking through cabinets. Everything was locked up, of course, but… it was fun.

Then…

Then there was this voice. And I saw this… this thing. Like a ghost, maybe, but not. I can’t describe it, there’s no way I can really say what it was. It wasn’t dead, I don’t think, but I don’t think it was alive. I know it wasn’t fake. I know that. But… was it real?

It had blonde hair, I think. And it smiled. But also it had no face, no head to smile from.

I don’t know.

LIZZY: I… I didn’t see anything, Ellie. I just heard you scream. Are you sure you… are you sure it wasn’t just a…

ELLIE: Don’t call me crazy. I’m not crazy.

GEORGE : I saw it too.

[PAUSE]

ELLIE: You did?!

LIZZY: You did?!

GEORGE : Yep. The minute you started describing it… I’d forgotten about it, almost. But I knew exactly what you were talking about. I saw it.

[PAUSE]

LIZZY: Wow.

GEORGE : Yeah.

ELLIE: Then the next weeks came. And… you know what happened.

LIZZY: Vikki broke in again. Without us.

ELLIE: We escaped just fine the first time, they could have just dropped it. It could have been fine. But nope. They had to get obsessed. Because how could they not? [SEETHING, GRITTED TEETH] They’re the great Vikki Other.

GEORGE : Head over heels for whatever promises the quickest mode of self-destruction.

LIZZY: How… how did you know they were there?

GEORGE : Me? I don’t know. Just. Something they said to me before they left for school. They told me they were… almost there. That they were right at the edge of getting answers. I smelled trouble. And I was right.

ELLIE: I never actually saw the body, but… Lizzy, you did, right?

LIZZY: Yeah. The former Head Evil Librarian. Poor lady. Lying on the floor, black vines crawling out of her eyes, ears, and mouth. Splitting at the ends and blooming into swaths of blood, like inflated veins.

ELLIE: Lovely image.

GEORGE : Do you think they did it?

LIZZY: You mean, do you think Vikki killed her? No way. I saw their face. It… it wasn’t the face of a killer. It was the face of a scared kid.

GEORGE : … now I wish I didn’t know that.

LIZZY: Sorry.

ELLIE: After that I was so scared- I think for Vikki, but also for us. I mean, we had just-

LIZZY: Wait-

ELLIE: What now?

LIZZY: I- Before we continue. Let’s get the Otherphone out of here. I don’t want it… listening

GEORGE : Lizzy, there’s no way that thing can be on. There’s no cord connecting to it.

LIZZY: Just- it just makes me feel better, okay?

GEORGE : Fine.

LIZZY: Thanks.

[SHUFFLING AS THE OTHERPHONE IS MOVED]

[CLICK]

[TAPE RECORDER CLICK]

VIKKI: Hello.

This is…

This is Vikki. Vikki Other. Or not, I guess. I haven’t ever really been Vikki Other.

I need a name, though. So it’ll do.

This is Vikki Other.

I am recording this from my house in the woods of Uncanny Valley.

I am alone.

There is a basement in my house. There… there was not a basement before. Not one like this, anyways. It looks like a science lab. It is darker than it should be, and everything the lamps hit is sickly green in the glow.

It’s the safest place in this house.

I wonder if someone will ever listen to these tapes. Why would anyone want to?

For entertainment, maybe?

I’m all out of jokes to tell, listeners. I don’t… I don’t know what to say.

I am sure that they knew. They knew that I was from somewhere that was not this place, and they said nothing. How long did they know? Weeks? Months? Have they known from the second I said hello to them, that day in the fourth grade, and just never thought to mention it?

I was stupid, trusting them, pretending that every time they mocked me or put me down, it was just… our dynamic. I trust them. I thought… I thought I could trust them.

I was an idiot for thinking I could trust them.

I probably sound like a coward, don’t I? These are the last recordings of Vikki Other. They were a coward, who made stupid decisions, and then died.

….

I am not scared of my own death.

One day, I will die. This is a fact.

I am starting to think that I will not die peacefully.

There is someone who knows who I am. And I am sure they want to hurt me.

One day I will die.

That is a fact.

But not before I find out how I got here and… how to get back. I don’t know if I’ll be that lucky. I’m all out of coins to put into the jukebox called luck. But maybe I can build my own. Sing my own songs.

I’m going to keep moving forwards.

No matter how much this timeline betrays me, that’s the only way there is to move. Forwards. Keep pushing. I don’t care if it destroys me at this point, because I don’t think there’s enough worth in me to really matter if I’m destroyed.

I’m going to get answers.

That is a certainty.

[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS OFF]

[OTHERPHONE CLICKS OFF]

ERIS: Hello there…

We meet again, little rabbit.