Writer, Editor, and Director: Finley Cole
Voices: Finley Cole (Vikki Other), Spencer Dougherty (Ellie Richards)
Hello, and welcome back darling listeners! To those of you who believe in God, those of you who don’t believe in god, those of you who believe you are god, and the rest! It’s me, the one known far and wide as Vikki Other. From my timeline to yours, this… is Radio Other.
(Intro)
Back in the studio this week! For better or for worse. While I was gone, some birds made a home in the nest outside my studio window. I had to shoot them all at point blank, and there was a lot of blood and circuits lying on the floor until the janitor came and cleaned them up. I had to watch the front three of his fanged mandibles slowly chew each corpse from my workspace, the long tentacles they sprouted from waving and convulsing as they consumed their feast. It did not look very sanitary, but to each their own!
Oooh. Speaking of birds! The local Duckpin bowling alley has announced they will now be offering the following types! Flamingo pin bowling, seagull pin bowling, and eagle pin bowling. I, for one, am excited for this new development. However, bird conservationists say this could be harmful to the birds. Meanwhile, bird conspiracists argue that since birds are not real, and in fact simply government devices made to spy on us, this is really silly and unnecessary.
Either way, I’m quite excited to go. My friend group dabbled a lot in sports growing up. Ellie did softball for a bit. She was on a team, The Screaming Cattle. I went to a few of her games, and boy, you should not underestimate what giving that girl a bat can do. I didn’t even know you were allowed to physically assault the pitchers before then! I still don’t know if you are. I’m terrible at softball. It’s confusing keeping track of everything - the points, the four different types of balls, which colour of glowing wormhole appearing besides the pitcher's mound means what associated chant. It’s confusing!
Lizzy and George always said that the day they experienced a Sport would be the same day I found their dead bodies floating down the River Styx in ritual sacrifice to Osiris. However, I was a bit different.
I was still trying to find myself back then, so I’ve dabbled in a lot of different sports. Bowling was a fun one. Golf was one of my longest, but eventually our golf team got cancelled because Ruqayyah An-najjar got her arm bitten off by a Minotaur during one of our games. Which, I mean, fair, but that was a complete freak accident. The Minotaur was not even supposed to be able to get past the Carnivorous Maze. Thankfully, Ruqayyah was able to stab the Minotaur in the eyes with her club and finished the Tightropes to claim fourth place.
I got third place due to being the only one who discovered the mirrors in the Chasm were actually interdimensional gateways that could be accessed by properly understanding physicality of the body as a dead concept! I mean, Brendon Trotter did technically discover them too, but he didn’t become corporeal for a week afterwards so – who’s the real winner? It’s me. Vikki! Yeah, I love golf.
Now here’s something interesting from the political side of things, darling listeners:
Elections have officially ended, and boy do I have news for you-
You may have guessed the winner, but if you didn’t- yep, that’s right! Mothman has won again! He once again can continue to serve our country with his ominous and looming presence. I actually just saw his appearance for the first time ever recently, as has most of the country. While most people are encouraged to be seen and not heard, he has one upped us by managing to be neither. Just another way that he is leading this country in ways we cannot comprehend. In ways we are not allowed to comprehend. Mothman. The Moth. The Myth. The President.
To those of you who didn’t pay attention in Secret Social Studies, and don’t know how elections work, let me explain it to you.
Elections go like this: A group of men, women, and other entities, between the ages of 20 and 2000, will be selected. They will be given a name of a political party, and told to represent it. A list of opinions will be sent to them, with a list of buzzwords to shove at any sort of counter-argument.
The being will then be dressed in a hooded cloak, and hold gatherings to read their opinions out loud.
Election day will come, we will all place our votes, either for the false hope of change to a system built from static, or the false joy of pressing a button and having opinions. The candidates will either win or lose, and then everyone will go home and settle to their normal lives. Finally, a few people claiming to be the candidates will join the government and make the same decisions made for years, only now with a new set of names supposedly supporting it.
Golly gosh, I loved Secret Social Studies.
So, today, we were supposed to have Ellie in the studio again, but since she seems to be running late, I brought something great to do in the meantime. My dream journal. It’s where I write down all my dreams. I’ve covered the front in stickers, and a sketch of the star chart. I used a mix of rhinestones and bird eyes to make the different stars. When you take the plastic caps used to help focus the government cameras off, bird eyes are actually super pretty.
So here’s the entry from last night!
I was walking in a field. It was dark out. But I’m not sure if it was night. You see, there was no moon in that sky. There were no stars either. It was just… black. An empty void.
I’m not scared of the void. I’ve seen it before. Anyone who's lived in Uncanny Valley this long has.
But I… this felt different. Like there was a void in the void. That somehow that comforting presence the void has had been torn away and replaced with just a hollowness.
Grass brushed up to my waist. I could see it, just the faint outlines. Dirt under my feet.
I kept walking for what felt like a mile. That’s when I noticed a faint glow in the grass. Green lines, cracks like veins in the earth. Pulsing and emitting a soft, eerie light. I felt an instant sort of revulsion. I hated these lines, and I could not tell you why. Even worse, I felt like I missed them somehow.
Anemoia. That’s a word. It means “Nostalgia for a time or a place one has never known.”
It was like that, but poisoned. That wasn’t nostalgia. It was fear.
I knew at that moment I needed to find out where those cracks led.
I started following them. The lines always went forwards, sometimes twisting or curving slightly off to the side. The farther I went, the more I started to hear a static hum. It was only then I realised how silent everything had been before then.
There are certain sounds you’d think you’d hear in a field. Maybe crickets chirping. Your feet brushing against the dirt, or the wind rustling the stalks. This was completely silent.
The buzz was comforting at first. But the louder it got, the more it started to feel like it was inside my head. I wanted to claw it out, somehow, but I couldn’t. It had burrowed too deep. Can a sound crawl? Can it move?
This one did.
I felt the sound grow louder, and louder, until finally I couldn’t bear it. I was so close, but I couldn’t step forwards without feeling those horrible crawling legs.
And then I woke up.
Now, I recently learned that you’re supposed to analyse dreams too. Apparently just writing them down is not the point. Well, it was news to me! I have no idea what this one means. I also recently learned that if you bottle your dreams, you can sell them! I might start doing that. Lizzy used to talk about bottling up her emotions, which aren’t the same thing as dreams, but I’ll still ask her.
Hang on- I think I see Ellie outside my studio. Hey Ellie!
(doors opens)
Alright, listeners! Let's welcome back the one and only, Ellie Raymonds!
ELLIE
Vikki? For the last time, it is Richards.
VIKKI
Well, I can’t just remember everything, can I? My brain would be overflowing with facts and I’d have just no room for anything else.
ELLIE
… right. So you had more research to show me?
VIKKI
Yes. Lookit this bill.
(pause while Ellie looks at it)
ELLIE
Er, what exactly am I looking at?
VIKKI
Oh, must I spell everything out? It says United States of America, and it has an Illuminati symbol!
ELLIE
… oh shit.
VIKKI
Ignoring your insistence on using profanities, I concur that this is a fascinating thingamabobber! Oh, it also has some Latin that I could not translate. If you would?
ELLIE
Er, I guess- Um. If I’m correct, the text above the pyramid says “It approves of our undertakings”. And below it…. “A New Order of the Ages.”
VIKKI
Yes! I was like, super close, just so you know.
E, sarcastic: Sure you were. So, does this go on the stringboard?
VIKKI
Obviously. Hang on one second. (rustling)
I’m going to add in a card for the Government. We’ve got one for the America, one for JFK Jr, which I’ve connected. And now the bill, which connects to America AND government.
ELLIE
Do you think there’s a connection between John F Kennedy Jr and our government?
VIKKI
Possibly. I wouldn’t discredit the theory. But I was thinking of looking at this from a different angle. I want to figure out whether JFK Jr’s… wonky existential problems are isolated events or a pattern. We need to see if there’s more people like him. Then we can see if those people are also connected to America, or if these are two totally different things.
ELLIE
… wow. That’s almost smart, Vikki.
VIKKI
Maybe–( gasp) maybe we should put up fliers around town! Like, with our phone numbers and stuff.
ELLIE
Sounds like a good idea, I guess.
VIKKI
Right? Wait one second, actually- wait one *gasp*
(BILLIE OPENS)
VIKKI
Okay! I’ve got an idea!
ELLIE
Vikki, what was *THAT*?
VIKKI
Oh, that? You mean Billie?
E, incredulous: *Billie*?
VIKKI
My third eye. I’ve never actually seen him open. Does it look cool?
ELLIE
You… you have a third eye? How did you even get that?
VIKKI
I don’t know. He popped up about three weeks ago, a few days before that whole thing with the blood drive. Now, please - does it look cool?
ELLIE
I- I guess? Vikki, you do realise that’s not normal. I know third eyes are granted to some religious leaders, and occasionally some demigods and hybrids have them, but you’re completely human! And the only person you know how to serve is yourself.
VIKKI
You know, I’m quite offended that you think I’m human. I think I have as much right to divinity as anyone else. Which is none, by the way- as I always say! Divi-
E, sullenly, like she’s heard this wayyyy too many times: Divinity is a falsitude.
VIKKI
Exactly! So don’t question my physical form. Unless it’s to compliment it, in which case, go ahead. I’m very proud of this flesh suit. Just the other day, the grocery store cashiers told me that I look positively like a tree frog. Then they all began levitating and bagging my groceries using telekinesis, praising the Great Forest Beast in unison. I left a very good tip.
ELLIE
Vikki- just-
(she sighs)
ELLIE
What’s your plan?
VIKKI
Okay, so. We’ll put out two different types of fliers, stapled to trees -(adds quickly) with permission from the trees of course. One of the fliers will be a contact to you, with information about America. One will lead to me, with questions about people who’ve appeared mysteriously. That way we can follow the leads separately, then come back together and see if we can put together more pieces.
ELLIE
That’s… that actually is a really good idea.
VIKKI
Don’t sound so surprised. They don’t call me The Great Genius Of The Glorious Age for nothing!
ELLIE
They… nobody calls you that.
VIKKI
I call myself that!
ELLIE
Whatever.
I’m going to go home so I can design a few posters. I’ll ask Edwin about using the office printer.
VIKKI
Edwin?
ELLIE
Edwin. Like. Our boss. you seriously forgot our boss's name?
VIKKI
Ellie, the only reason I remember my own name is because I have a sign on my door with it. See? It’s the pink one with the funky swirly design on it!
ELLIE
Yeah, that’s the other thing. Please for the love of an Enlightened existence, just… don’t add any of your design to the posters.
VIKKI
You mean my signature style?
ELLIE
If your “signature style” is why you email me in 24 point bright green comic sans with every fifth letter in Times New Roman, then yes.
VIKKI
Those emails are works of art.
ELLIE
They disgust me almost as much as you do.
VIKKI
That is such a compliment. You really are the best jelly Ellie.
ELLIE
See you later, Vikki. Hopefully a lot later, though I don’t think I’ll be that lucky. Keep an eye out. They’re watching, you know.
VIKKI
Of course, I know everything! And I’ll see you in no time, don’t you worry.
(the door slams)
VIKKI
Oh, that was just lovely, listeners! I love talking with my friends. The only thing I could possibly wish for more is them treating me like an equal who they respect and like being around! But I suppose that’s just not how these things work, is it? People are just like that. They make snide comments they think you don’t understand, and then leave you at your lowest.
In actuality, people aren’t really that necessary. All I need is Khala and Patrick, a roof over my head, and I’ll be living my dream life.
…
Sometimes though, I think it would be nice to feel loved.
But George said I’ve never been good at knowing what I want. Then again, he also told me that I’d never make it in Radio, and look at me now! Take that, George. He also once told me that if I see the ghostly form of a bear glowing faintly purple in the woods at night, I shouldn’t try and pet it. He was actually right about that one.
I think that’s it for this broadcast. I’m glad to once more have been able to take your time and merge it with my time, until time no longer mattered, our existence just an ocean of voice and words that have less meaning than matter.
So, from my timeline to yours… This is Radio Other.