RADIO OTHER

VIKKI

Due to Unforeseen tech advancements, it seems that The Entity is now allowing interdimensional media access! Which is why I’ve decided something big - for years this slice of life podcast has been like a diary for me. And now, I think it should spread out to more timelines, and more listeners. So from my timeline to yours… this is Radio Other.

Hello listeners and non-listeners. It’s Vikki. Formerly, the One known as Vikki Other. However, the government is currently withholding my last name for safekeeping. I am currently looking for donations to borrow a new one in the meantime. I expect, however, that I will be getting my Other one back. I don’t think I could stand anything other than other.

Speaking of the government, elections are coming up! I would ask who you’re voting for, but I think we all know. In fact, it would be just false to deny it! Theres only been one candidate for the past eighty years, anyways. Only one is even allowed. No one has managed to assassinate the Moth yet. If you would like to try, though, the position IS open.

Until then, however, place your voice in our rigged polls, and vote mothman! The Moth. The Myth. The President.

Now, what's up with me? Well, recently, there was a problem with the blood drive. I wasn't there, but my friend told my other friend, who told my probation officer, who told it to me with enough subdued confidence that, well, how could it be like I wasn't there?

I should clarify that I'm talking about the Blood Drive, as in, donating blood for important medical services such as transfusions, testing, and dark rituals, and NOT the Blood Drive down the street: Home of Uncanny Valley's most unhinged sport!

VIKKI

And that, my friends is-

(Background rustling)

VIKKI

- hang on. What’s going on? I’m-

ELLIE RICHARDS

Oh shit! Are you recording?

VIKKI

Yes. (sigh) I suppose- Sit down!

ELLIE RICHARDS

Er- Alright-

VIKKI

Everyone, meet Ellie….

ELLIE RICHARDS

Richards.

VIKKI

Ellie Richards. My friend, and colleague!

ELLIE RICHARDS

Vikki. Wait. Question-

VIKKI

A listener asking a question! A clever subversion of the Live Q and A format! Ask away!

ELLIE RICHARDS

-Is this podcast being monitored?

VIKKI

In what way?

ELLIE RICHARDS

Any way. Shadow government. Puppet government. Invisible government. Secret government. Um… Er…

VIKKI

Cryptocracy?

ELLIE RICHARDS

Yes. All of those!

VIKKI

Well. If the question is: Are they watching this room? Absolutely not. It’s just you, me, and the thousands of other people listening in intently to our every word.

ELLIE RICHARDS

… I suppose that will do.

VIKKI

Now, you want to say a bit? Something for the record?

ELLIE RICHARDS

(rushed, breathlessly relieved) Oh thank god. Yes. Gimme the microphone.

V, overlapping: Otherphone.

ELLIE RICHARDS

Now- you know how I quit my job?

VIKKI

(a bit surprised) No- (recovering) well, good for you! I must admit I’m quite proud of you. That whole “ghost investigation” show business was terrible. Everybody knows that ghosts are real.

ELLIE

[petulant] But do they? Do they really?

VIKKI

Perhaps a good point. But that’s not why we’re here. What are you doing now?

ELLIE RICHARDS

Exactly what I want to talk about. You see, I had fun on the Skeptic Screen-

V, overlapping: good lord that’s a terrible name-

ELLIE RICHARDS

It wasn’t right… not what I truly wanted. You see, ghosts? Demons? Those are just so simple. The same thing. That was, until we got (emphasized) The Case.

VIKKI

The case?

ELLIE RICHARDS

(ominous) The Case.

V, more interested: Well. Go on.

ELLIE RICHARDS

It started out pretty normal, right? Family with a ghost problem. We show up, do some tests. Everything we can to prove them wrong - that the ghost isn’t real, and they’re delusional. But this time was different.

VIKKI

you ACTUALLY proved something?

ELLIE RICHARDS

No. It wasn’t the actual main case- It was in the evidence. You know how we look at all the potential deaths on the property? Match up details to prove that the sighting wouldn’t make sense?

VIKKI

of course

ELLIE RICHARDS

So Tess and Brett were working on set, and had me doing the research in the meantime. I head to the public library, and ask to look in the archives, like usual? And I get to the house.

VIKKI

Okay.

ELLIE RICHARDS

And it lists the people who lived there. I’m supposed to dig into each one and see if details would connect - or, I guess, NOT connect. And I see the name John Kennedy Junior . And so I look it up. But- BUT! Nothing comes up.

VIKKI

Come now?

ELLIE RICHARDS

Nothing! No birth record. No record of him at any school. Nothing showing he ever had a job - but it seemed like he had plenty of money. Just two records showing he bought the house, and then died two years later.

It’s like. He just. Appeared.

Which is crazy, right? But- I’m NOT crazy.

VIKKI

… That is… interesting.

ELLIE RICHARDS

Yeah. But… it gets even crazier. See, it wasn’t just him. He had a sister and a wife, who also lived with him. So I searched them up to. And guess what I find?

VIKKI

I would think-

ELLIE RICHARDS

Nothing.

VIKKI

Nothing.

ELLIE RICHARDS

(breathing out heavily) Yeah. Nothing. Three people, just… started existing one day! No reason, no explanation. They just… appear.

VIKKI

So you quit your job?

ELLIE RICHARDS

Yeah. I had brought back the stuff, and well… Brett started saying I was crazy, that I was going against the whole skeptic attitude. Believe nothing. Coincidences are always normal. Nothing is not what it seems. And I quit.

VIKKI

So.

ELLIE RICHARDS

I don’t know, okay! It just felt right at the time! Because I don’t think… I don’t believe in ghosts. I still stand by that. But I’m not just going to dismiss things just because… because it’s easier. That’s the path of least resistance! It’s life in the dark! It’s lingering at the awning of our shadow government, when the glow of enlightenment is just beyond us! (pressured, insistent) It’s waiting, Vikki. It’s WAITING.

(heavy breathing from Ellie as she collects her thoughts)

VIKKI

It is, is it?

ELLIE RICHARDS

You… (defeated, desperate) you don’t believe me, do you?

VIKKI

Honestly? I’m not sure.

ELLIE RICHARDS

Whatever. Some people… are just not cut out for belief. But… you’ll see it soon, Vikki Other.

VIKKI

Just Vikki right now, actually. The shadow government took my last name.

ELLIE RICHARDS

Are you mocking me?

VIKKI

Deadly serious. The letter is on my desk. Here-

(papers rustle)

(a pause)

ELLIE

[a bit hesitant] Well.

ELLIE RICHARDS

I suppose…

VIKKI

Call me back. Later.

VIKKI

I want to hear what you have to say.

ELLIE RICHARDS

You want to know the truth?

VIKKI

Yes. Call me, and tell me everything you’ve got.

ELLIE RICHARDS

… thank you.

VIKKI

of course… now. Get outta my office! I actually DO have a show to do, you know!

ELLIE RICHARDS

Ah! Sorry!

(rustling)

V, sighing: Alright. So.

VIKKI

Good lord! How long has this thing been running? That’s… I suppose I could bump the content I had PLANNED to next week instead… annoying as that will be.

VIKKI

Hm. John Kennedy Junior… have to look into that name.

VIKKI

Alright. Well, I’ll see you next time, darling listeners. Thanks for tuning in! From my timeline to yours… this has been radio other.

[CLICK]

RADIO OTHER

RUSTLING OF PAPERS

VIKKI

Hey.

LIZZY DOWELL

ah! jesus! vikki!

VIKKI

(chuckling) made you jump.

LIZZY DOWELL

Sneaking up on people at their desk job, while they're alone in a building at night, has that effect. How- howow did you even get in?

VIKKI

Axel.

LIZZY DOWELL

of course. (coughs) Now, is there a reason for being here, or…?

VIKKI

of course. hang on- darling listeners, I’d like you to all meet Lizzy Dowell-

LIZZY, overlapping

Oh, oh good lord.

VIKKI, CONTD.

-my friend from the Uncanny Public Library. Currently at the rank of… (pause)

LIZZY DOWELL, SIGHING

Head Evil Librarian.

VIKKI

Yes! truly astounding, my friends. to progress through the ranks so quickly shows either a great deal of devotion or an even greater deal of mysterious employee leave.

LIZZY DOWELL

It’s the casualty rate.

VIKKI

I don’t doubt it! That’s a good thing, though. job opportunity is an important market.

LIZZY, petulant

I- What- [she gives up] oh never mind. Can you get that microphone- thing- out of my face?

VIKKI

My Otherphone.

LIZZY DOWELL

What?

VIKKI

Otherphone.

[LIZZY doesn’t have anything to say to this]

VIKKI, AS IF IT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING

It’s vintage.

LIZZY DOWELL

Right. Yes. Vintage. (sigh)

VIKKI

Let me get straight to the point-

LIZZY DOWELL, OVERLAPPING

I think that bridge was crossed a while back…

VIKKI

-I need to know about the secret basement cult.

LIZZY DOWELL

What? (under her breath) Vikki! You’re not supposed to!

VIKKI

as if anyone even cares.

LIZZY DOWELL

They do! My boss cares!

VIKKI

Your boss?

LIZZY DOWELL

Yes. he’s… (sigh) Look, the job survival rate here is already bad enough. my coworkers and I are TRYING to boost it. It’s bad press.

VIKKI

Don’t see the connection?

LIZZY DOWELL

Our boss. Survival rate. Just- make the little Ellie cork-board and connect the red string.

VIKKI

Oh. Well, as nice as that is, I don’t see how your ratings will improve if your information desk won’t give any information. And to think I thought we were friends!

LIZZY DOWELL

Oh- I know what you’re doing Vikki!

VIKKI

Hm?

LIZZY DOWELL

You’re just trying to get me to feel guilty so I’ll tell you stuff.

VIKKI

It took you that long to catch on? I thought that was fairly clear from the start.

LIZZY DOWELL

ARGH. (a calming breath) Look. If I give you a few Top Secret Files from the desk drawer, will you go away and stop bugging me?

VIKKI

thank you.

LIZZY DOWELL

I am doing this out of nothing but spite, Vikki.

VIKKI

Well, either way, the ending has justified my means!

LIZZY DOWELL

That’s- that's not even clever.

VIKKI

False! Everything i say is hilarious, and incredibly deep.

LIZZY DOWELL

Just go! God!

VIKKI

Fine!

LIZZY DOWELL

...And stop recording me!